when everything is done
I seek more things
that need doing

dark brown streaks on the underside of the grass-green fronds
as if someone has drawn them deliberately with a marker pen

two plump guinea fowl
spattered in white
with little red crests
and big black eyes
ready to fly
across the world
for someone's
birthday
surprise

Adam sneezes on the biscuits

a single red apple-bauble
still hangs
from the big tree next door

five minutes walk
across the field
and the hills
are huge
in front of me.

everything drops
into perspective.

how small I am.

a generous glob
of satay sauce
without satay

delish

christmas shopping

all day wondering
would she like this?
would he like this?

trying to put their happiness
above my needing-to-be-right

after all this time
the lobelia is still going
holding up its pastel blue petals
white hearts giving out light
as the year turns

kitchen detritus

a worm of dried up rice noodle

Buddhist service

We use the same flowers as last week - great heads of hydrangea, dried to musky pink. I feel guilt at not making a fresh offering to the Buddha.

mini
sneeze
explosion

tension between the shoulderblades
cracks & pops like rice crispies in milk

put in a quiet room
heated slowly by a woodburner
and surrounded by books
until thoroughly
de-
stressed

the dead flowers
taunt me
'lazy!
lazy!'

after service

a rosy cup of cinnamon cherry tea

12.44pm. Fatty jumps down from one chair & jumps up onto the other, identical chair. He makes a circle & goes back to sleep.

after running for the phone (and missing it) I take seven seconds to look out of the window. the roads are shiny with rain, and 1/15 is spray-painted onto the pavement in yellow paint. even in november the orange poppies are still making bright dots in the gloom. I come out of my computer bubble and take a few gulps of air before going back in.

all day this determination to feel let down by others follows me like a sad dog

Ramona

Seeing the Christmas presents in November and having to wait, even a day, is too much.

vegan feast

she spent an hour looking at labels for us in waitrose.
it is delicious.

the lime green tongues of plant
press their twisted faces
against the window
their colleagues
stretch up and
out in
long
elegant
curves

a single apple
red & plump
hangs too high to reach

much harder to pluck
a small stone from memory
now that tuesday is gone

eczema fail

after seducing me with irresistible itching
my wrist is red
the skin puffed up
sore

in someone else's house
imagining our life here

all day my body aches & makes me take a break from pushing myself to do more

after a short throaty glissando, dipping and then rising up and up
paws stretching out as if at a yoga class
he slips back into napping